若干年前,若干年后 ： 上半段 - 回家

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNOfhCCiDTI

若干年前。

那一年，他选择了离开，每有留下太多的理由。只是简单的一句，我想去寻找新的突破，他就离开了那间家。

她还不明白，为什么他离开了她。她以为，它给的很多，她以为，她付出的很多。她说，我给的那么多，我那么珍惜你，你为什么离开？他说，我要的，是平平淡淡的在你身边，不是排山倒海的压力。

她不相信这是压力，他不相信这是珍惜。

他离开了，没有他的电话，没有一份信。她震惊了，每天晚上都守着那间家，就希望会有那么一天，他回心转意时，会倒回来。

她好爱他，觉得她会离不开他，但，可惜，她却丢了他，没有在最紧要的时候抓住他。

深夜，在昏黄的灯光下，回想起当年的点点滴滴，她的泪却慢慢的掉下来……

深夜，在漆黑的脚落里，他歇斯底里的喊了出来：回家，回家，我需要你；回家，回家，马上来我的身边……

深夜的静，是那么的凄凉，滑过泪水的脸庞对她说，别再哭，就让他走，再多痛苦的等候，相信她也能承受。

深夜，她慢慢的闭上了眼睛，想让自己在这静静的夜里满满的睡去，让自己在这静静的夜里不再留恋。而他却在这时候一遍一遍的出现在她的梦里，出现在每个噩梦的边缘，让她好想一挣开眼就看到他。

她好想拥有再一次的机会，对这他说，别说不会有结果，永远永远，别说分手，让他们白头偕老，让他们一路一起走下去。而他，又怎么能够，在这时候，就这样的放手，一去不再回头，让她无助的面对着这纷纷扰扰的世界。

一遍又一遍，她嘶喊了出来：回家，回家，我需要你；回家，回家，马上来我的身边……

想了很久，我到底凭什么资历来接下这个任务。真的，我不懂。

Moving out to the new office

Completed the moving of the stuff to the new office.  Looking out from the office, the scenery is still the same as the old office (as they are of the same row), but I do get a different feeling.  Being in the office of the Head of Discipline, and the office as a normal lecturer is rather different.

I do feel relief now, a bit.  I know there are still tonnes of works to be done, even I am a normal lecturer.

Anyway, I am welcoming my 2012 in my new office, 5C1-45!

Wish me luck!

还是朋友

我傻傻大步的走过你的身边，也知道不必難過， 因为在生命旅程中，我知道，總有人動容，也會有人像你急著上樓。

决定了， 我不去想昨天的夢, 我決定今天好好的過, 我想，分開各自走的话， 你可以享受你的自由，我也看到我的明天，你的未來想怎樣別來問我，因为， 我不知道，我也不想去了解。

從今後，我想做什麼就做什麼，因为我知道，我的生活将会是我一個人過。而你也不必回頭問我想什么、做什么、要什么；还要假裝溫柔，又不知所措 - 看透了你那张假面孔。我知道， 也很肯定，总有一天，我相信相信你會懷念 那個傻傻的我， 还有那幅淋著大雨等在你路口的画面。


所以，我想，还是忘了吧， 忘了那段曾經我們手牽著手說著以後的时光。
这么多年了，面对一次又一次的骗局， 我想，算了吧，你的承諾對我來說就像氣球，飞呀飞的就飞到天上，什么都看不见了。我累了，也不想去追究了。

也许，等那天你再真的感到我們認真愛過，细细回味我们在一起的时光，开始感到后悔了，但這些又算的了什麼， 看开点吧， 我们還是朋友。


我不去想昨天的夢，就算他又多美多甜，因为我決定今天好好的過。昨天，我与你经历了人生的酸甜苦辣，但今天，我们将分開各自走。 所以，你可以享受自由， 而且你的未來想怎樣別來問我。

说过了，從今後想做什麼就做什麼一個人過，你不必回頭問我、假裝溫柔、不知所措。有一天相信你會懷念那個傻傻的我，淋著大雨等在你路口。忘了吧—曾經我們手牽著手說著以後；算了吧—你的承諾對我來說就像氣球；等那天你再真的感到我們認真愛過，但這些又算的瞭什麼—還是朋友。

雖然有時氣你没有目标，没有远见，从不把我的付出看在眼里；但下一刻又傷痛，因为看着你的孩子，看着你的伤口，看着没有人来扶你一把。但我还是想说，你不必擔心我，我不爭氣的淚水就讓它流，我们做朋友也許会幸福的多。

最后一次告诉你，说过了，從今後想做什麼就做什麼一個人過，你不必回頭問我、假裝溫柔、不知所措。有一天相信你會懷念那個傻傻的我，淋著大雨等在你路口。忘了吧—曾經我們手牽著手說著以後；算了吧—你的承諾對我來說就像氣球；等那天你再真的感到我們認真愛過，但這些又算的瞭什麼—還是朋友。

I Dreamed a dream

在回家的路上，突然看到一幅曾经在我梦想中出现的景色.心里震惊的一阵：在英国的那四年里， 我一直梦想着这样的生活，为什么现在的我，却被工作压得喘不过气来?

连续冲了一个月，突然发现到自己离开曾经梦想中的生活好远，好远。。。




There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we'll live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.

Winter Snow Before the Spring Sun Take 1 - I Miss You

To the friends who suddenly leave my circle of life - hope you are doing good in now!


I Miss You

Sha-la la la la, Sha la la la la.
You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in your ar ar arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I Never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here some how
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you
Sha-la la la la
I miss you

You used to all me your dreamer
And now that i'm living out my dream
Oh, how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true the time is flying by too fast

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once in a while
And even though its different now
You're still here some how
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you
Sha-la la la la
I miss you

I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here some how
My heart wont let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you
Sha-la la la la la

I miss you
I miss you're smile
And I still shed a tear every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here some how
My heart wont let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you
Sha-la la la la
I miss you

Happy Mother's Day

To all the mothers in the world - Happy Mother's Day!

Song for Whatever - No Worries

In my darkest days in my PhD road, this was the songs that I used to keep listening to motivate myself up.  Before I could receive my degree in my mortarboard, I knew that I had to walk alone, in a road that I didn't know where it ends.

I was lucky to have some friends around me that we could keep supporting each other - Grace, Lee, Yeaw Chu, Dinan, Pam, Rock, Rob to the later stage, Rupesh, Xiaxin and Carl, and many more.  Thanks to them for accompanying me to walk through that time.

I was always telling myself - no worries, these days will soon be over, and the new days will come soon; just keep holding on for a while.

So, friends, if you are in the darkest days in your life today, trust me, no worries, the days will soon be over and you'll be stand up again.

NO WORRIES - SIMON WEBBE
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkB6DNRgXYs)

I just know your life's gonna change
Gonna get a little better
Even on the darkest day
I just know your life's gonna change
Gonna get a little further
Right until the feelings change
So, is this how it goes?
Think you've come this far with nothing to show
That ain't so, no
You don't see where you are
And if you don't look back you know you'll never know

Cause you think that you've been living, just treading water
And waiting in the wings for the show to begin
But I always see you searching
As you try that bit harder
Getting closer, oh yeah, to the life you're imagining

[chorus]
(I just know your life's gonna change)
Maybe not today, maybe not today
Some day soon you'll be all right
(I just know your life's gonna change)
Don't turn the other way, turn the other way
Feels like luck is on your side
(Just wanna live)
No worries, no worries
(Don't wanna die)
No worries, no worries
(Fight through the lows)
Say it for me, say it for me,
(And take all the highs)
We all need somebody
(Yeah we can sink)
No worries, no worries
(Or can you swim)
No worries, no worries
(Or walk on out)
Say it for me, say it for me,
(Or jump right in)
We all need somebody

So, baby keep drifting on
Your endeavours ain't just selfless wasted time
Seek and find, yeah yeah
You're not that far from what you've hoped and wished for all along

Cause you think that you've been living, just treading water
And waiting in the wings for the show to begin
But I always see you searching
As you try that bit harder
Getting closer, oh yeah, to the life you're imagining

[chorus]

I just know your life's gonna change
Say it for me, say it for me
We all need somebody

Mok and Toong's Wedding

Attended Mok's Wedding yesterday, and it was a wonderful day for me, as well as for my friends.

Having knowing him for 18 years, this was really an event that both myself and my friends were looking forward - we looked forward for the wedding reception, we looked forward for the gathering, and we looked forward for the great time that we were going  to have.

Sure enough, we had a great fun these two days.  Early in the morning, as any other wedding family will do,  sisters were at the bride's house, and brothers were at the groom's house.

The process of picking the bride up is, to me, the most enjoyable part of the day, as we all were really tricked by the sisters with flour, lemon + apple cider juice, bitter gourd juice, condense milk, chili biscuit, leg wax and so on.  Obviously these stuff doesn't sound funny, but I am sure we really enjoyed this.

The small gathering in the afternoon at the Heidi and Train Station was the great one that filled with never-ending jokes.

The Wedding Dinner reception was also a great event, where again we worked as a team to get it done.... From the registration to the MC to the "wine servant" to the technological support to the photographer and video shooter, we really make a good team in getting the event done.

I can't wait for the photos to be shared, and also looking forward for the next round of gathering, that we can continue the madness of being together.

To Ivan, Lai Tee, Keat Chew, Ching Ching, Tan Kiat, Jun Hong, Jimmy, Kok Kit, Jenny, Kah Woon, Zi Xean, Fiona, Chee Wei, Sua San, and many more, thanks a lot for the good memories, and let's hope for the many more.

Of course, to Mok and Toong, congratulations and may you be well and happy for the rest of the days!

 

People asked me, "So, when's your turn? " I replied with a smile - when the time comes, it comes.  Now let me enjoy my life with my first wife - my works!

普照寺的回忆

那天回家，爸爸就说要到普照寺看看几位老人家，一家三口就浩浩荡荡的出发了——还是老样子，说走就走。记得还有一次妈妈曾向我们说过，“跟你爸爸出门，要告诉你们我们要到哪里都是没用的，因为他的主意随时会更改，要上了汽车，开始往那个方向出发时，我们才可以肯定我们是要到达那个目的地。”

也让我想到有一次爸爸说要带我们到波德申海边玩，当时在吉隆坡姐姐家的我们都很高兴，还把救生圈、海边旅行的必需品搬出来，还充了气。一开车，爸爸就建议先去拜访在鹅麦的大姨妈。好了，全家到了鹅麦，拜访了大姨妈， 这时，爸爸竟然说，既然都在这里了，不如我们上云顶吧！可以想象，那一次，全家人，带着去海边的玩具（更别提那些已经充气的救生圈），穿着到海边的衣服，到了云顶。自从那次起，每当爸爸说要到什么地方，我们都会尽量准备各式各样的物品，以防目的地突然间又被爸爸换了……

回到普照寺，看了看，改变了很多。主要的是后面那座停工了17年的建筑物在次的发出敲敲打打的建筑声。

看到一半，妈妈走过来了，说道：“很多东西都没有了。”

是啊！我都忘了，曾经有一个戏棚。 就在寺的左边。喏，看，就在那个蓝色桶的的那个位子。

那几年，应该是我还在念一、二年级时吧。每当十二月初八，就会有布袋戏，当爸爸妈妈在忙着时，我就会过去看。虽然不懂他们在演什么，但反正闲着也是闲着。后来，布袋戏没有了，就变成放桌椅的杂物室，后来，什么时候被拆除的，我也不知了。

看着另一边，妈妈又说话了。

“那棵菩提树不在了。”印象中好像有听过有棵菩提树，但是不记得了。

然后，妈妈又接着说，“那一年，我们就在那里摆了素宴，应该是为普照寺筹款吧。那天，刚下过雨，你就在那里玩泥巴，你爸爸就很生气的把你赶回家，你还自己坐巴士回家的，然后， 我们也没有想那么多，知道你在家里会自己主东西来吃，就没有管那么多。到了第二天，问到你吃什么，你就说‘吃面包啰’。我就说，你不会自己煮面吃吗？你就答了一句‘都没有么煤气，叫我怎样煮？’后来才发现你爸爸把家里的煤气都带出来了……”

走进里面，看到那个“池塘”已经被封掉了。

那时的我很喜欢在那里玩水——小孩子嘛。下雨时，就会看着屋顶的水流到这个水池里。

突然发觉，原来我的童年也是多姿多彩的。