Tuesday, September 30, 2008
回家
这几天来心情还算蛮复杂的。
上个星期就送了几位学生到了机场,看着他们飞往英国完成学士学位的最后最后一个阶段。在机场时心情就很低落了 - 当然不是因为离愁, 因为能看着他们飞到英国 - 一个我曾经在那里生活了5年的地方。
虽说回来大马很高兴,虽说那里没有归宿感,虽说回家感觉很好,但在某种程度上,我还是想念英国的,想念那里的天气,生活,朋友, 一切的一切。
今天在开车时听到HOME这首歌, 让我再度想起英国的那段日子, 很高兴我会来了, 希望在英国的那班学生也能有这样的感觉。。。
县给Lee Chou, Han Loong, Jeya, Wei Chuan, Chu En, Pin Yaw, Sam,慧颖,小强... 还有很多我没有机会目送的学生, 还有远在澳洲的梓鉴和毅航.
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
May be surrounded by
A million people
I Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and fla
tAnd you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s lifeIt’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone awayIn even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go homeLet me go home
And I’m surrounded byA million people
I Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my runBaby, I’m done
I gotta go homeLet me go home
It will all be all rightI’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
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看到我的大名出现在这篇文章中,有点吃惊。冷言讽语也要说一句:“我终于有点价值了!”。看这篇文章我的感触也很大。这些学生远走天涯都是为了寻梦。当年毓贤一走就是5年。虽然情牵马来西亚,可是对自己生命中想做的事不知道在马来西亚能否实现。若接下来的生命在这片国土无法被满足,当然会觉得遗憾。人在外国当然知道自己的家园与海外生活的差异。论生活品质大马未必及人,论社会安宁与人权大马也落入人后,论未来的发展前景大马也比别人慢。最后唯一要回家的理由是那片曾经孕育自己的土地充满了无法割舍的情感。感性的感动过后,理性的介入可能就是导致遗憾理由吧!我在澳洲生活自在,自给自足,享受人权享受无拘无束。对一般想过舒适日子的人或只想安逸过“自己”的生活来说,确实没有回大马的理由。所以唯一让我非要回国的理由是贡献自己的力量给自家的孩子。每个人的理想都不同,没有对错。我只想说我想回家是因为担心那里的孩子。那是我的理想。若你的理想是飞黄横达,马来西亚也许不是你的归依处。
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